Strength

I havent written for the last 2 years, times flew really fast and i felt i was the luckiest girl :) I have married you, but unfortunately you told me thats not something you wanted to do. It breaks my heart, eats my soul and im finding it really difficult to believe and accepting whats happening. I know we do fight,which couples doesnt? a lot of it unfortunately did happen after you had drinks too. I just didnt like to see you already tipsy or smelt so alcohol when i finished work everyday. i know you were on holidays but wasnt the stomach inflammation issue made you think? i have my issues i know... i was so happy , being the happiest, feeling the best marrying you..honeymoon.. in few times you told me you didnt want it all...i had been thrown to hell... do u see how i feel? nope we had sold our apartment...do you see its part of us? nope... i believe if you love me, you will come back and make it all work with me... but really do you love me? you said you came back to me 2 years ago cuz i was upset and threaten you.. im sure i did say only come back if you can new beginning with me..you said yes but after all these days...you told me..you not sure.. yes, i am angry, yes i am disappointed, yes you are irresponsible, insensitive of what came out from your mouth.. i love you after all..i married you because i do want to be with u...im keeping my strength to believe i love you hubby. its hurtful its difficult its upsetting me with cold n hot cold n hot from you... but i will be strong, i wont give up because you are love of my life.